10 more pounds gone, and the torture chamber (dressing room)

I've lost 10 more pounds, which makes a total of 111 pounds!  Why is it, then, did shopping for clothes today make me grumpy and sad?  I was looking for jeans.  Granted, I feel that jeans are difficult to shop for no matter what weight I'm at.  Even at a normal weight, I have curves.  And curves aren't always easy to fit.  If the hips and thigh area fits well, then the waist is too large.  Should I buy boot cut, straight fit, trouser jean?  Light wash, medium wash, or dark wash.  100% denim or denim with a slight stretch.  (Denim with more than about 2% stretch on curvy girls is a big no-no in my opinion.)  Adding to the frustration is the fact that I need petite length, which narrows the choices quite a bit.  Especially in plus sizes.  Then there is the price tag.  Since I still have a lot of weight to loose, price is definitely a huge factor.

While loosing weight, I'm keeping my closet kind of empty.  Especially pants.  While a top that is a bit big may not look too bad, I feel that a pair of ill fitting, saggy pants look terrible.  The two pair of jeans I currently have are much too saggy.  So, I assumed when I went shopping that I would need to go down two sizes.  The jeans that I looked at were offered in three fits based on body type.  One fit is for straighter figures, one for slightly curvy, and one for very curvy.   The first two pair I took to the dressing room were for straight figures.  Silly me - what in the world was I thinking?  A size smaller in this style than my saggy, baggy pair at home wouldn't even go over my hips.  Depressing.  The second group of contenders included a moderately curvy style and a very curvy style.  The very curvy style is probably what suits me best, but they didn't have them in a size smaller than what I currently have.  They were available in two sizes smaller, but they were quite a bit too tight.  Considering how baggy my current jeans are, that was depressing.  I finally purchased a pair of the moderately curvy style in a size smaller than my current jeans.  They fit, but I don't really love how they look on me.

I need to be more positive when I'm in the dressing room.  Ultimately, a size is just a number.  Just. A. Number.  Even normal weight people have a variety of sizes in their closet; different manufacturers size their clothing differently.  There are 111 less pounds for me to have to clothe now!!!!!!!  While I may not be content to stay at my current weight and clothing size, it's far better than it was when I began this journey.  

One day, I will look good in jeans.  For now, I'm happy to buy jeans in a smaller size.  I'm happy to buy jeans at all - when I was 111 pounds heavier I didn't buy jeans because I hated how I looked in them.  I purchased mostly black, grey or brown pants.  Victory in a different form is still victory!