Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Am I really fighting?

Sometimes I think I'm trying to fool myself when I tell myself that I'm fighting cravings.  After I posted last night, I ate.  And ate.  And ate.  I didn't eat sugar, well other than one of my daughter's Fiber One bars, simply because there's none in the house.  However, I ate everything I could find with natural sugar.  Fruit Spread on bread (whole grain at least), raisins, a salad with mainly cheese (fat as a substitute perhaps?)

Yes, the amount of food was smaller than binges of the past.  Yes, I basically avoided sugar.  However, I was still using food for something other than fuel which is a dangerous slippery slope into the pit of food hell.  

If I'm completely honest with myself, there is a part of me that is considering buying sugary crap today.  The same sugary crap that I've been craving for the last few days.  I know it's not worth it.  I know that if I start it will lead to more and more sugar.  But the addiction monster lies to me and tells me "it will only be this once."  
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2 comments:

  1. downsizersMarch 27, 2012 at 7:07 AM

    You cannot do this to yourself again. It's time to be sick and tired of losing control and be proactive. You already know how you are going to feel if you give in to this. Get out of the house and go exercise. Visit friends or relatives. It will pass and you will have proved to yourself that you can stay in control. I pray you take care of yourself. The abuse has to stop. Be careful out there today.

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  2. Jane CartelliMarch 27, 2012 at 7:55 AM

    First we learn to not eat the sugar, then we learn how to stop using other foods as a substitute. I used to 'get clean' be eating anything but what I knew would only make everything else worse. What is it you want - and it is NOT sugar- there is something else in your life you want that is not being met. Focus on that. Reach out.

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