Tuesday, July 17, 2012


I feel like I'm in limbo right now.  I'm not actively trying to lose weight, though I definitely need to be.  The binges have slowed a bit, but haven't ended.  I haven't been exercising.

All of my choices aren't poor.  About 98% of the time I've been eating a healthy breakfast and lunch and I'm taking the vitamins that I need.  I haven't withdrawn from family and friends like I tend to do when I'm overeating on a regular basis.

At this point, I think I'd be content if I could at least maintain my weight rather than continuing to gain. I haven't posted my weight progress because I'm too ashamed to admit how much weight I've gained.

I still haven't completely given up.  To someone who doesn't understand food addiction/eating disorders it would appear that I have, but I haven't.  I've had a lot of experience in the past with days, weeks, months, even years of being in the "I don't care I'm going to eat what I want and I'll deal with the results later" phase.  I'm not there.

I need to find the motivation to get out of this part of the cycle and get back to a healthy place.  If I can't find the motivation, I need to find the determination to be healthy.


  1. Hey - I'll be your virtual workout buddy! I have been off the wagon for a few weeks now, and I know if I don't nip it in the bud now, I'll get back to 210 pounds.

    My clothes still fit, but since I haven't been working out I feel . . . softer.

    Maybe we could email each other how we did each day?

    It's funny, I started my blog at 168 pounds nearly 4 years ago, and I am still 168 pounds! I tend to go in spurts of staying on track, but then get derailed and slowly gain it back.

  2. I'm sorry that you are struggling. It's so great that you are aware of where you are though - because that is a big part of this journey.

    I know it is hard to get started again, but maybe you can 1) write down why you want to lose weight, 2) write down three small goals, and 3) find an accountability partner to help you get started.

    #1 often helped me because it cemented in my mind why I wanted/needed to lose weight and helped me stay focused. Perfect? No. Focused? Yes.

    Stay strong!

  3. Thanks for the support and the suggestions!!

    Biz - I'll think about your offer and get back to you.
    Diane - it's interesting that you mentioned that being aware is a big part of the journey. That is mentioned quite a bit in the support group that I've been going to. Also - I like the suggestion about writing down why I want to lose weight. Good idea.