I've fallen back in to the same old traps and bad habits. I cringe as I write this post. It's embarrassing. I know better. I know that I can't do the same things I've always done and expect different results. I can't seem to find the motivation or the determination to get back on track.
This is where I am right now:
It's the all or nothing thing all over again. I'm back to eating junk, very little exercise, I'm not wearing my pedometer or entering information in my log for the fit challenge at work, I'm not even taking my usual vitamins - what's that all about?
Back to the "I'll start over tomorrow" mentality for the one millionth time. It's pathetic. Apparently the sugar and fat are currently more important to me than making healthy choices. I wouldn't be doing this if there weren't some sort of reward - right?
There is a part of me that wants to give up. Why bother when I know I always end up back at the same place? But......I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet. I'm discouraged, but not defeated.
Enough rambling. Just wanted to document where I am right now......this will allow me to see how far I've come once I get over the hurdle.
Please know that I appreciate your honesty. It is true that we are getting SOMETHING out of the unhealthy choices. I know I get better when I work on that and figure out all I am getting.
ReplyDeleteThe last time I had to figure it out I had to admit I got sensual (NOT sexual )pleasure from eating the sweets and some creepy thrill out of hiding the evidence from those who would worry about me.
Thanks Jane! I always appreciate your encouragement. Your experience gives me hope.
DeleteMelanie I am lazy and if you read my "spinning" post for today - you'll know how I feel about exercising, so i may not be much encouragement on that side, BUT LOOK at the right column of your blog: YOU HAVE LOST 123 POUNDS. YOU ARE DOING many, many things right.
ReplyDeleteIt's ok to have a little set back- we all do. Take a moment to sort everything out and set a date, maybe tomorrow or the day after ?
You have come a long way.
Thanks Lorena - you are always an encouragement to me. Yes, I've done some things correctly to lose weight. I need to focus on that rather than how much I still need to lose. I just get discouraged because my "all or nothing" mentality can lead to extremely rapid weight gain.
ReplyDeleteLoved your spinning post! I admire you for tackling such a tough class in your endeavor to search for an exercise that you enjoy! Good luck with your search!