Sometimes I get so angry and frustrated with my struggles with compulsive overeating. It is so easy to have a "pity party". I know that it is not healthy and serves no purpose, but it happens occasionally.
I'm having one of those moments tonight. After the binge I had this week, I've done well. Back on track with healthy eating. Tonight, out of the blue while watching American Idol, I began craving pizza. Mainly the cheese. Then I went from that to french onion dip with corn chips. Why am I craving these things???
There doesn't really seem to be a reason. Emotionally, I'm fine. All of the literature on binge eating disorder points to underlying emotional issues for this, but sometimes I don't see the correlation.
During this cycle of cravings, then "why me", then frustration, then anger, my next thought is often "why bother". If I'm always going to struggle with this, then can I really reach a healthy weight and have a healthy relationship with food? Even if I reach those goals, can I maintain them?
I'm so tired of this.