Why do I sometimes fall back into old habits? Why, when I know that there is a risky time on the road ahead, do I purposefully sabotage my healthy plans? Why do I take the all or nothing approach that is common among dieters/ binge eaters/ those with eating disorders to a whole new level? Why does this further level include a 180 degree turn from healthy eating/exercising/reading materials that involve health and wellness/taking vitamins to eating junk food/no exercise/no vitamins/can't stand reading fitness magazines/the thought of eating healthy food is completely unappealing? Why is it that I am frugal when spending money on clothing, make-up, items for the house, etc., but I don't give a second thought to spending money on junk food? Why am I appalled when grapes are $1.99 a pound but, when bingeing on junk food, I don't bat an eyelash at $4.99 for a pint of Ben & Jerry's?
What reward do I receive from unhealthy habits?
*the first few bites taste really good
What reward do I receive when I make healthy choices?
*I feel good.
*I enjoy the taste of healthy, whole foods such as fruits and veggies.
*My emotions are more stable.
*There is no guilt.
*I focus on non food related activities that I enjoy such as reading, praying, spending time with my family.
*I'm not distracted by food....I can concentrate when I'm talking to my husband on the phone rather than thinking of the next bite of sugar laden food.
*I look better.
*It is easier to purchase attractive clothing.
*I can take pride in accomplishments such as meeting food, fitness, and weight loss goals.
*Once I haven't consumed sugar for 3 or 4 days, I generally don't crave it.
*My energy level is higher.
*I sleep better.
I could probably continue listing the rewards that are involved when healthy choices are made, but it's late and I'm getting tired. I've made poor choices this week, and I'm trying to examine all of this a bit. It's painful, but necessary.