Wednesday, December 28, 2011

it takes more than six days.....

......for a habit to stick, right?  I'm still struggling.  Looking back on my posts from December 1 to now, I've overeaten/binged six days out of this month.  That is six days too many.  I can't seem to get back on track.  I don't want this to become a habit.  I still can't understand why I behave this way, when afterwards I regret it so much.  Yes, there's the emotional factor.  There's also the addictive component of sugar and fat. Why can't I be a normal eater?  I've asked myself that question so many times over the years.

Today I ate six, yes six, Reese trees.  Then about a half of a package of Oreos, then some chips and dip.  It scares me that I seem to already be able to eat more junk than I could six binges ago.  Why is it that negative habits seem easier to form than positive ones?  Why can I so easily rationalize eating junk?

I need to get out of this pity part now, and move on to healthier thoughts, a healthier attitude, and healthier actions.


  1. I completely feel your pain. I have the same problems with eating junk food compulsively. I am in awe of your success in losing 129 pounds to this point, you will get back on track!

  2. The negative habits are tasty and easy. It takes work and a lot of effort to change to positive ones. Most junk foods are addictive via the chemicals used. Not many people become addictive to salad or peas.

    I wish I could transfer some of the focus and motivation I have to you :( ..

    You will sort it out, you have before and will do so again.

  3. You asked: Why is it that negative habits seem easier to form than positive ones? Why can I so easily rationalize eating junk?

    The answer:
    Because while you are working hard to lose weight the disease of addiction is in the corner doing push ups so when you get tired, it can take over - again.

    Because this is a progressive disease. Each time you let it out of the bag it gets stronger, never weaker.

    Because we want our food. We want those damn trees and we think we can do it. this time. Until we admit we cannot do it, ever, will never have the power to stop compulsively eating on our own and not pick up a week or a month later, until that time, we are doomed to repeat our own history.

    It sucks and it doesn't because unlike cancer and diabetes, there is a way out for compulsive overeaters. There are 12 step programs that can help us be free of the obsession to overeat. I pray you will find your way, Melanie. I am pulling for you and curse the reeses trees who get in your way.